You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
im six kinds of drunk right now
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
