New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
