Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
