it hurts more in the daytime
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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