Umm I'm too high to move.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
