dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
