Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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