She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
