At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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