You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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