i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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