We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
