I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
