i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
