burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize