he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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