we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
