Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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