Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
