I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
