I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize