Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Please, let me fuck your mom
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
