is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
