I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
