He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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