I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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