He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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