Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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