Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize