I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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