dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
this is an emotional support booty call
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
