It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
