It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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