come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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