Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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