To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
