some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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