doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
People in love make me want to vomit
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
