NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
