he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
