She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
