every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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