some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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