And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
