I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
