The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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