Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
