Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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