i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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