So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
