I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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