My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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