Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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