dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
