I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Drunk is a universal language darling
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
