some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Randomize
