that's an acceptable place to lick
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
