my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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