i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
