Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
