look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
