At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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