Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
