I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
